Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Some thoughts on homemaking

Most know that I work outside of the home, out of necessity. DH and I bought a house last year and are not able to make house payments and survive on just his check. (I've always worked, it's just out of necessity now).

Having said that, I must say that I envy those that can be a full-time homemaker. If you are married, you are a full-time wife/mother. So please don't think I'm ignoring those roles. I do pray that someday I'll be able to be at home full-time, devoting more time to homemaking and volunteer work. Since we do not have children in our home, it's not "vital". (I think our cats are just fine without full time care LOL) I just want to experience that part of my life. Some may say, what are you missing? Well, I believe quite a bit. I do skimp on some things that I would not otherwise. Cleaning for one. Cooking is a major one. No, I don't do much cooking, it's very rare as a matter of fact. But, given the opportunity, I would embrace this whole heartedly.

So, where is this coming from? I'm being sent a new direction by God. I feel the need and desire to embrace my "womanhood" from a Biblical standpoint. Read Proverbs 31 or Titus 2 and compare that to my current life. Pretty far from it right now. There are other things the Lord has set upon my heart. I'm exploring those as well.

I know I'm rambling, I just can't put my thoughts into words today. Sorry, I have another sinus infection and need to call the dr tomorrow and get in to be seen. But, I think my friends know where I'm coming from, so I beg you to please pray that the Lord continue to speak to me and that I follow.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
~

Colossians 3:15-16

Friday, September 26, 2008

Peace and Quiet

Some people find me strange because I enjoy sitting at home, without the background noise of the tv or radio. After a full day of busy, busy, busy, there's nothing better, in my opinion. We are not big tv watchers anyway. DH will watch occasionally the History or Discovery Channels. I enjoy medical or law related shows, but they are all reruns of the same thing many times. Besides, have you ever noticed how little you can get done with the tv on? You have to run back to it and see what is happening. You end up waiting for the commercial breaks to refill your water or run to the bathroom. How sad is that? If I have anything on, it's the radio. I listen to the local Christian station because it provides not only good, uplifting music, but good Biblical teachings.

I have also finally joined my DH in the "listen to music on your cell phone thing". I had refused up until yesterday, stating it was a totally unnecessary thing. (and really is). But, since I have the silly thing, I may as well take advantage of it. I enjoyed listening to my favorite group (Casting Crowns) today at work. This really helped me stay focused and calm through the storms. Guess I should have done it sooner, huh? LOL

Today my mind has wandered over the thought of "living in the world, but not being of the world" We are commanded to be set apart from the world. How do we do this and still live in the world? We all have different opinions on this. I think it also depends on where you are in your walk with Jesus. Right now DH and I work on our attitudes towards others, trying to show the Love of Christ. This is not as easy as it sounds. The enemy loves to taunt you and remind you each time you fail that you will never be perfect. Of course we won't! Jesus was the only perfect human. But, we are still to strive for it. Through prayer and following the lead of the Holy Spirit we are able to do so much more than we ever thought! I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:13 NIV

I'll close with the section of this chapter I love the most:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
~Philippians 4:4-7

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Frustrated

I will never learn to understand the thinking of the higher ups in my company. I was so beyond frustrated with them today that I went to my boss and asked to go home and take PTO for the day. (paid time off....and since I'm salary, I have to use a whole day, even though it was more like five hours) The muckedy mucks always say they want to empower us, but even if you call and get "permission", someone else will come up behind you and mess it up. I have truly given up trying to figure out these people. All I can say is satan is alive and well in KC.

Having gotten that off my chest....I've spent my free time reading and researching on the web. I've gone through this phase before and allowed the enemy to distract me. I'm feeling the need for some serious soul searching. I have a deep hunger and thirst to know my Lord very personally. I read and study my Bible, but I feel like that's not getting me what I need. Now, don't freak out, I'm not looking into any cults or the like. I'm looking for a deeper study guide than what the commentaries in my Bible provide. Through my searching today I have found the titles to some books that look pretty in depth, without being over my head. Now I have to wait for my new debit card to come in so I can order them. Being on the cash system is great for life here in town, but I can't get just anything in this one horse town.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful friend whom sent me a very helpful CD. I've used it before, and will start with it again until I can get the books. I've also found a couple of useful websites (through the same friend's blog) that have helped me greatly. Thanks Lisa! (Hope you don't mind my linking you here) Lisa's Blog

So, I've rambled on without much direction tonight. I pray the Lord give you a clearer mind than mine tonight!

Halle lu Yah

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Take that satan!

Through many testimonies today, I discovered that the enemy has been on full attack mode within my church family. We took a stand today not only in our worship, but as a family, to stand and punch back. I've posted some of the things E and I went through this week. Almost each person had some sort of trial this week. Well, as one young man stated today....if we were not being attacked, we would not be doing something right. The devil is mad, so we are doing something right. Plans are to continue the outreach within the local community, continue our karaoke outreach, a free breakfast or lunch at least once a month, and a teen/young adult study on friday nights.

I've got to rearrange my schedule a little bit and make time for a more in-depth Bible study. I've got to be more prepared for the next attack. I know as a Christian it's not if, it's when. I cannot allow satan to win this battle. Life here on earth is short compared to eternity. We may not have all we want on this earth, but we have what we need. Sometimes it's hard to remember those two things. As humans we always want more, but we don't necessarily need more. What we need is the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus Christ. We must accept His free gift of salvation, believe He is the Messiah, and confess our sins to Him. Repent of those sins, and worship Him.

There's my little sermon for today.
As always,

Praise Jehovah

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Exciting Day

Today I spent the day with my future DIL and her family, plus a couple of friends. We drove south to a bridal shop and picked out the dresses for her bridesmaids. (If I can remember to do it, I'll find a link to the dress and post it later) They are very pretty and yet practical too. I would call them tea length with sashes and peekaboo slips in contrasting colors. (brown and orange) We also found shoes for all five girls, had lunch and stopped at Joan's for "wedding stuff". " A" picked out her dress yesterday with her mom, so we came back and had her try it on. Very beautiful! All in all, it was a great day.

This evening we had another karaoke night at church. Several were out of town, so we had a smaller crowd than last month, but still a lot of fun. Everyone is pushing me to do it. I'm really nervous about it, because I honestly cannot carry a tune to save myself. (i know, the Lord doesn't care, but I still do) Maybe I'll pray about it and ask for boldness. I know it's really not about ability, but enjoying one's self and praising the Lord. (see, he's still working on me)

So, what are my thoughts from today? First, enjoy your kids, they grow so fast! Keep the memories alive through journals, scrapbooks, photos, whatever you can. (but be warned they do not hold up to fire, flood, or most other major acts of God) Spend as much time with family as friends as possible. Each day on earth is a gift. Untie the ribbons and enjoy it. Stress the love of Jesus to all you can. Again, each day is a gift, and we must reach all the lost we can. Teach your children from day one. Children are so honest, uncomplicated, and most of the time, bold. I watched the most amazing things tonight when four little kids had more nerve than I, got up on that platform and sang their little hearts out for one and all.

Here's what shocked me tonight....during one of the little one's perfmances they sang "I'm in the Lord's Army". I'm singing right along in the audience, doing the actions, and E is looking at me like I'm crazy. He really doesn't know this one. I was shocked. After all, he was raised in church, I was not. But, during those brief years I went with a friend to church in Florida, I remembered this song. So, in closing.....

I may never march in the infantry

Ride in the cavalry

Shoot the artillery

I may never fly o'er the enemy

But I'm in the Lord's army!

Yes Sir!


Everybody now.....

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wow, who is this guy?

Today I met a very different side of my dear husband. Amazingly enough, I have never in eight years, seen my husband very angry. To say he surprised me would be putting it very mildly. Now, thank the Lord, his anger was not towards me. (and how could it be, since I'm such a kind, gentle, loving person? LOL Stop laughing and I'll go on)

We have, for the past week, been in the midst of a very strong battle with the enemy. He has attacked us every way possible, but the biggest was in our bank account. Now, since the main problem that started this whole thing was an error on one company's part, we have been battling the bank to fix the problem. I might as well have been talking with stone walls, that's how far I got. My husband on the other hand, got every single overdraft charge reversed! (and there were 13 by the time the bank finished with us. and some of those were overdraft charges on the negative balance fee. explain that one to me if you can)

He has gotten the alarm company to admit their mistake and fault in this whole process. Now, they are willing to talk about reimbursing us for the negative fees. We'll see if there are any left to pay. I may ask for pain and suffering charges instead. I've been beyond sick about this.

So, not only did my husband surprise me with this new side (which I found rather sexy), but the Lord has taught me yet another lesson. As my dear friend just reminded me, "Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is!"

And He is!
Praise Jehovah!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm back, and with a vengance!

Yesterday I was ready to give up. The attacks from satan had me on my knees. Unfortunately for him, that's the best place any true believer can be. I have thrown myself at my Lord's feet and begged for wisdom. I begged for faith. He always delivers! I am sick and tired of some stupid demon attacking my life. My Lord is bigger than that. I am bigger than that. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" I can do this.

Now, having said that, please don't think that I'm super strong, or very wise. I'm not. It may be a sin, but I envy those that can wake up with a smile and be ready to attack the day. I'm not one of those. I battle depression and anxiety attacks on a daily basis. And, yes, I take medication for that. Without a lot of prayer and study of my Bible, I could easily become house-bound afraid of the world. Praise Jesus He sets me free (as much as I allow Him.)

My thoughts today are on controlling fear and anger. I've heard some say that depression is just anger turned inward. I guess in my case that's true. I've been angry that the enemy keeps attacking, then I get angry that I've allowed that to control me, etc. It's a very vicious cycle. What do you do if you find yourself feeling blue? I have found that listening to praise music and reading my Bible, specifically Psalms or Proverbs, my mood will lift considerably. I also journal my thoughts, ideas and fears. My journal contains my conversations with Jesus. I hold no punches in my journal. He knows what I'm thinking, so I share it. It also helps me later on when I may have something similar happen.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Wonderful day!

Today was a very good day, praise the Lord!
Church was excellent. I had two kids for Sunday school, and their mom just had a little boy this past Thursday, so I was able to help take care of him as well. *big sigh* I absolutely adore babies. *big grin* Pastor preached an excellent message on being ready for Christ's return. This is something that we need to think about daily. I don't know about you, but I have such a tendency to get wrapped up in today, that I forget I have a greater call to answer to. We are commanded to go out and make disciples of all nations. Now, that doesn't mean we are all called to go to another country and be missionaries. You can be a missionary right where you are! In my opinion, taking the Word of God into the world (anywhere) makes you a missionary.

After church we went to see Eddie's son and future daughter in law. We had a great lunch of pasta with red marinara and Alfredo sauces with garlic cheese bread and then ice cream for desert. Talk about yummy! We visited for a short time and confirmed time to meet next week for the big day. I'm going with A and both moms and my step daughter to shop for dresses. I'm so excited! This will be a huge day in her life. Please pray that everyone attempts to get along and not run things, therefore ruining a very important day in her life. (thus far)

Tonight has just been quiet relaxing. Unfortunately, it's back to work for me tomorrow.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Blessings

Today my focus was on the blessings my Lord gives me, rather than focusing on the attacks of the week. I am very blessed! My wonderful husband always gets me the sweetest cards, no matter the occasion. Today was no different. The Lord brought me the sweetest, kindest man in the second half of my life. Add to those qualities, Eddie tries very hard to follow the Lord's call in his life and the directions He gives us.

Our marriage did not start out on easy ground, but I had faith that this was the man I was supposed to marry. I had to be the spiritual leader for the first few years, and relied on a lot of prayer. I admit there were a couple of times I almost threw in the towel. I thank Jesus every day that I did not. I honestly could not ask for a kinder, more caring husband. I am not only very blessed, but very spoiled! (and proud of it!)

Beyond that, I have a nice home, cars that are paid for, we both have good jobs that provide a good income and good benefits. We live in a country where we are free to worship our Lord at any time, and belong to a very loving church family. I also have a wonderful extended family and some awesome friends. (you know who you are! I love ya!)

My biggest blessing is that my Lord loves me, flaws and all. To have such love and mercy is such an awesome thing. To know I can run to Him and beg, scream, or just plain cry at any moment is wonderful, knowing the He does not disown me or think less of me because of my moodiness is truly the biggest blessing a person could ever have.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Prayer needed

Well, the enemy is at it again. I won't bore you with details, but today has been tough and very stressful. I actually stayed home from work because I worked myself into another attack ending with one of my headaches and severe nausea. Please pray that the Lord increases my faith so I can tell my mountains where to go. Also that He will help me control my emotions, instead of them controlling me. Today I have hung onto the lyrics from one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns, my absolute favorite Christian Group.

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I'm feeling much better this evening after a long nap, writing in my prayer journal, and reading my Bible. I also called an talked with my mom, which is always comforting. I don't know about others, but even at my age (47 tomorrow), I still find much comfort just in hearing my mother's voice. She's always been my friends and confidant.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

9/11

A day we will remember forever. Where were you seven years ago today? As for me, I was home with complications from my diabetes. My husband woke me up to tell me the tragic news, tower one had been hit. We, as most of America, were glued to the tv for days.

I sit here tonight watching footage from that day with tears streaming down my face, sorrow in my heart, and anger towards those that would do such a thing. I still pray the families of all the victims have some type of peace, those that experienced that day will learn to live with the trauma, and those responsible will be held accountable by God.

This brings up the area I still struggle with in my walk with Christ. I try to find forgiveness for such people, but I have not. If you have, please tell me what to do. I pray, but my heart it hard.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!

For those that go back five or six years, you remember where that came from. (I sure miss her) Anytime I receive an unexpected blessing this phrase comes to my mind. Today has been such a day. (warning: pms is rearing it's ugly head, so I've been quite moody)

The day started with a real puzzle. DH and I stopped at the only gas station in Elwood, Kansas, which happens to be the town our church is in. (just west of us on the other side of the Missouri River). We get our drinks (coke for E and iced tea for me--see I'm behaving myself Gidg) After the cashier rings us up and E hands her his debit card it comes back declined. WHAT? I just checked and balanced the account on monday. Things were getting tight, as it does the first two weeks of the month, but we had much more than two dollars left! Okay, okay, maybe it's just a glitch? I run out to the jeep and grab my loose change. I'm five cents short, but the cashiers all know us and let us go. Praise God that hurdle was cleared. Get to the church and pastor lets us use the computer to check things out. Well, not only did we not have two dollars, I'm $123 in the hole?! again....WHAT????? No time to fiddle, it's time for prayer meeting to start, which is more important. That goes well. (of course it does, talking with our Savior is not only important, it's sheer joy! ) After we get home I check things out in depth. Wonderful, the alarm company has over charged me by $99 and add that to the two service charges from the bank for that withdrawal and the one from the night before at the gas station.....hence the negative $123. Wonderful. (NOT)

Fast forward about an hour, the mail comes and guess what the Lord has sent me? A refund check from the oral surgeon's office. While we still are not sitting pretty, my account now has $34 in it to purchase gas and groceries to hold us until friday. What can I say? God is good!!!

So, after running (okay, I drove, but very fast!) to the bank, I stop at the grocery store for the few things we needed. Won't take my check. Now what? They don't know, but I'm on the "list". Okay fine, keep your milk, bread and cheese, I won't die. This one I can't figure out, but I'm finally done pouting about it. Like E said, they don't know what the problem is, and they are checking it for us. It is in the Lord's hands, He will let me know. (soon I hope)

So, I sit here for hours and pout and worked myself into a tension headache, which means I'm missed church tonight. (more pouting) I try to watch a movie, it skips. So, on with the tv. I don't watch a whole lot during the week, so I'm not even sure what's on. Flipping I find TBN and Kirk Cameron with Ray Comfort. God's telling me, Sherry, get off your duff and praise Me. All is not lost....and, of course, He's right. I have my wonderful husband, a nice house, two cars that are paid for, a good job, and many wonderful friends. I am blessed!

So, once again, I praise You Jesus in this storm!!
Hallelu Yah!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Please, keep it to yourself!

What is it with some people that they just have to share everything with anyone whom will listen? Part of my job entails listening and a great deal of patience (which in my case, only comes from the Lord). Since the mission of Goodwill is to "help the disabled and disadvantaged get and keep jobs", many of the people come to the store to be evaluated for ability to listen to and follows instructions as well as motor skills. Some make it, some do not. Some are very quiet and some are very chatty. Honestly, very little surprises me when it comes to dealing with our evaluees. Some are mentally disabled, some physically disabled, some just down on their luck and having a hard time finding a job. Whatever it is, we try to help. (this is one of the reasons I have stayed here through thick and thin)

Today, however, was my first experience with one of them calling me on the phone and telling me all about bodily functions. Now, this phone call actually started out as an apology for having to leave early. Okay, I appreciate that, but please stop there! Wow.....

I'm not sure what the lesson is from this one, but whatever it is, I hope I learn it the first time, so the Lord doesn't send it again. LOL

Monday, September 8, 2008

Monday

Well, yep, it's monday. Rather quiet day at work, which is always enjoyable. I enjoy mondays for the most part. I have two people off on monday that make the day a little more quiet. One is "difficult" and the other is mentally challenged. With one, you don't know what kind of mood to expect, the other is either really quiet or rambles all day, depending on what is happening at home. I can deal with the second one, I have two boys that are considered "mentally challenged".

The other, well, that takes a lot of prayer and just plain tongue biting. The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure that most of the problem is conviction from the Holy Spirit. I can tell you first hand there is nothing that will make you more miserable than walking away from your relationship with Jesus to enjoy the pleasures of the world. Why we do it is a big mystery to me. The Bible gives up plenty of warnings of who will end up in Hell and what it is like. I pray this person turns around before it's too late.

Well, I'm rambling because I'm really tired. Until tomorrow,
Shalom

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Joy

There's nothing like a great worship service and deep sermon to refill my "joy tank". Today the worship was so moving tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Do you know how privileged we are to be children of God and live in a country where we are still free to worship Jesus in public, at will? I can't describe how I feel about this privilege. If you've never thought about this (for those of us that are still free to do so), I highly suggest reading a book (or more) by others less fortunate. "The Heavenly Man" is a good one.

Anyway, I ran off topic there just a little. (I hardly ever do that....oh, look, a kitty ; ) ) The enemy will throw things at us all day long to steal our joy, and let me tell you, I allow it way too much! I know I'm human (imagine that), but I really do get mucked down too fast and too far. Thank the Lord for not only his love, mercy, and grace. I thank Him that I have found like believers and a place where I can go to meet with them. While reading and studying His Word helps, I need the uplifting I receive being with others. Add to that the sheer joy I get from teaching, listening to, and playing with the kids, and sundays are always on the top of my list as my best day.

I do not wish to start a debate on whether one "should" attend church, and on which day we should attend a house of worship, etc. These are things that each person should follow under the conviction of the Holy Spirit. He will guide you! What I will stress is do you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? Do you have a personal relationship with him? Do you talk with him on a daily basis? These are things that bring me joy! The true joy one can have with a relationship with Jesus Christ is beyond awesome. I wish I could explain it with words, but I cannot. All I can say is that since I gave my life to Him (totally and completely), I have been beyond blessed!

Hallelujah

Friday, September 5, 2008

TGIF

Yep, it's friday. Other than being a payday (every other week for me), it usually don't hold much meaning to me. That's life when you work in the retail world. I guess I can look forward to the fact that on friday, my next day off, sunday, is closer.

So, what is your favorite day of the week, if you have one, and why? I really don't have one. Days off are always great, of course. For me, that's sunday and wednesday most of the time. My boss is kind enough to try and work that out for me, since I attend prayer meetings on wed am, and church on sun. I think, honestly, anytime I can spend time with my dh or my family is a great day. But for those that it may mean something, TGIF and have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I dont understand some people

Something happened today at work, that I've seen so many times, I have to wonder, how stupid can people be?

Two families come in with small children to shop. The children are allowed to run amok throughout the store, they actually hit other people, tear things up, and walk out the front doors into the parking lot. Meanwhile their parents have no idea where they are, or what they are doing.

Am I the only one shocked by such behavior? First, in today's world, you just don't know when someone may come along and just grab your child and run. My boys are now 22 and 24, yet all those many years ago, I would not have allowed my children out of my sight, much less harm other people or destroy property. For those that have known me for many, many moons, you don't need to remind me that my boys were a handful. I'm not trying to paint a perfect picture. I'm saying that the lack of concern I see today has me not only scared, but angry.

In my opinion (for what it's worth), beyond the love, grace, and mercy our Lord, Jesus, shows us each day, a child is the most precious gift one could ever have. It is our responsibility to take care of, love, nurture, and teach these gifts as long as we are given the privilege.

Okay, off my soapbox for today.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Just rambling

Have you ever noticed that when you really need to work on something in your life, the Lord will continue to "bop you on the head" until you get it? I've been having a lot of trouble lately dealing with the actions of people at work. (background: I work for The Helping Hand of Goodwill Industries in one of their retail stores). Instead of dealing with the actions, I'm complaining about all people and making stupid statements like "I hate people". We all know this is a blanket comment and not close to true. What I really dislike are the things that some people do.

However, the main issue here is not only my blanket comments, it is the fact that I'm not thankful that I have a job. Are we not told to rejoice in all situations? I don't mean that I should be thankful that a few select people are inconsiderate, I should be thankful that I have a job, that I'm able to do some things that others could not, and most of all, that I have such a wonderful Lord that he accepts me where I am, and loves me enough to "bop me" when I need it.

So:

Thank You Jesus for loving me!